oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
