you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
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