they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
