hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
All I want is dick and wine.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
