Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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