this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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