I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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