p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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