She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Randomize
