We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
