your room smells of hookers.
And success
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
