I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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