**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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