The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
