You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i came on her dog
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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