Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
