Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
