Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I didn't notice because vodka
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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