I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
