you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
