What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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