okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
