I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Too much gin, very little bucket
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
