Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
MIDGETS
????
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
