Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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