Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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