The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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