she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
