"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I will die if light touches me.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
