Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
