I wanna bring you to show and tell
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
