Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
