Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
