No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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