I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
