hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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