i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
