You smell like a Billy Joel song
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
