So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize
