fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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