After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Blood and glitter go together right?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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