cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
