when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
