dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
