I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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