Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
