For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
