so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
