I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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