Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
